Even though I don’t agree fully with biological determinism or most generalizations about gender, I recognize why people think that way or make those generalizations.
Still, I get irked when people don’t recognize that generalizations—no matter how true they may be for a large percentage of aggregate groups—do not apply to every member of a demographic.
Most men may like sports, but not all guys do. Most women may like shopping, but not all women do.
If you want to generalize and say “most,” I have no problem with that. But don’t box me in. Don’t say “Hey, you’re a guy…” because I am not a guy. I don’t like sports. I don’t have upper body strength. I’m squeamish about snakes, spiders, and rats. I enjoy the company of women more than I do the company of men. I don’t take up extra space when sitting down or invade other people’s personal spaces.
Still, I get situations where people say things like “Hey, you’re a guy. Can you lift this heavy object for me?” or “Hey, you’re a guy. Can you catch this spider for me?” I swear—this happened to me just yesterday at work, so I responded, “I don’t like spiders either. I’ll do it as a favor if you don’t make it a gender thing.” That’s the best I can do. I’m a human, not “a guy.” I may enjoy many of the benefits society gives men. I have the proper anatomy to be classed male. I even smell when I sweat. Still, don’t box me in. I don’t do anything “because [I’m] a guy.” Some of the things I do are from being raised male. Some of the things I do are from other environmental factors not related to gender. Some, believe it or not, are actually my own choice.
Don’t box me in. I am not a guy.
Same here, not a guy, unless you consider horseback riding a “guy” thing, but its part of my job of owning cattle.
But other than that, not that much upper body strength, squeamish, enjoy the company of women, as I can start a conversation easier. And go to book clubs. I’m not a “guy”. I’m a “Person”.
Great post! I hope you’ll be blogging on the mbcc group blog when it is up!
That’s cool, Frak. I guess that’s my point. A lot of us straddle the line. We aren’t totally effeminate, but we’re not totally masculine either.
And I would consider blogging for the church website… once we do get that part of the website off the ground. Ah, Drupal makes my head hurt!
It’s all a product of society. There’s really no man-nature or woman-nature. Just human nature. Unfortunately over a period of time, such a mentality has got ingrained into us. I wonder whether it will ever go…
Well, that you like the company of women shows you’re a guy ;-)
Ha, well, emvigo, I imagine that some men (if my friends are any indication) might actually prefer the company of men…