Comments on: Leslie Bennetts – Betty Friedan for a new generation

By: Jaquie O

Jaquie O — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 16:24:35 +0000

Great review, I’m always interested in how books influence people’s lives…

By: nerdalesca

nerdalesca — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 12:03:33 +0000

I wanted to thank you for commenting on my blog, I have added this to my must-read list (the book and your blog). I don’t use Ubuntu, but your feminism posts are very articulate and a joy to read :)

By: ubuntucat

ubuntucat — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 17:30:31 +0000

It’s certainly not a mandate that both parents work, but I think Bennetts makes a compelling case for it and really appreciates all the factors involved and complexity in such a major life decision. If Vicky is feeling conflicted about going back to work, I think the book is a must-read for her family.

Thanks for reading my blog.

By: Angus

Angus — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 13:02:30 +0000

Thank you for your review – I will try to find the book. My son and his partner have a six month old baby (my first grandson). Vicky will soon have to return to work, but I know how torn she is; Wilfred is undescribably (coin a phrase) beautiful. Head and heart tear you apart.

Thank you for your blog, and Ubuntu, I will read it regularly.

By: ubuntucat

ubuntucat — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 21:34:26 +0000

Didn’t know that’s what the expression meant. I guess I was trying to figure out by context. Well, thanks for being a faithful blog reader. Wishing you and your wife the best.

By: Chas

Chas — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 21:09:05 +0000

Just for info “going pear shaped” is an odd English expression meaning that it’s turning into a complete disaster.

Anyway I guess we could argue this one for ages and not get anywhere, but thanks for your interest.

By the way your Ubuntu blog was a must read for me when I started in Linux and I still come back to it.

Regards

Chas

By: ubuntucat

ubuntucat — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 19:32:00 +0000

I guess I must be misrepresenting her book, then, if that’s the impression you’re getting. Her suggestions are quite practical and “pear-shaped.” She doesn’t propose any course of action that would paralyze anyone.

There is definitely a delicate balance in life between being totally careless and being overly sheltered. I don’t think suggesting mothers keep a line to their careers or get back into the workforce sooner than within 15 years in any way impairs their ability to live or take risks. She just happens to disagree with you (and you’re entitled to your opinion as well) about what constitutes a healthy risk.

It isn’t improbable that a full-time mother’s husband would leave her for a younger woman, suddenly lose his job, become disabled, or die before retirement. In fact, the odds are in favor of one of those incidents occurring.

By: Chas

Chas — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 12:27:40 +0000

I am all for informed choice, you’re right hindsight is always 20/20 and I acknowledge that we were fortunate. However you cannot make all decisions in life based on all the things that might go wrong. If you did, no-one would do anything. Certainly you have to think things through and acknowledge that the whole thing might go pear shaped, but ultimately you have to take a step of faith based on what you believe is right. From the minute you are conceived to your dying day life is full of risks the vast majority of which we are not even aware of. Within the infinite possibilities that life offers there will be effectively as many scenarios where being a working Mum turn’s out to be the wrong decision as the right one. None of of know in advance.

By the way I thought that I had better check with my wife if she had regretted her decision, after all as I said in my orginal response not all the consequences have been positive. Her reply was an unhesitating and unequivocal no.

By: ubuntucat

ubuntucat — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 04:39:47 +0000

I probably didn’t sum up Bennetts properly (she did write a whole book, after all, and I did only a quick summary in a couple of paragraphs).

She isn’t passing judgment on people who choose to quit their careers. She just wants to make sure they’re making an informed choice. She thinks a lot of people (mostly women, but some men) quit their jobs to raise children without thinking about some long-term consequences or possibilities. That’s all.

In any case, it’s easy to say now that your wife wasn’t taking a risk (or being “foolish,” as you put it) because everything turned out okay. But what if you’d suddenly become disabled or fired from your job? Hindsight always is 20/20.

By: Chas

Chas — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 15:01:39 +0000

I read this with interest, principally because it resonates with my own situation. When my wife became pregnant with our first child she decided that she wanted to give up work to be a full time Mum. That did put some pressure on my to keep us economically solvent and that was at times difficult, especially in the early years. However I accepted that. Now the children are independent and have virtually left home, my wife for a variety of reasons, including health,has not been able to resume her career, or indeed start a new one. Though it is arguable that she contributes as much to society through the part time and voluntary work she does, as I do in my well paid full time career. However, while I cannot disagree with some of the practical points you quote from Leslie Bennet, the inference that my wife is somehow foolish or iresponsible for making the choice she did I do take issue with. The suggestion that all women should carry on working while taking on parental duties is, in my view, as non-sensical as Windows / OSX / Linux zealots stating that their operating system of choice is the only one worth having. It is a matter of choice and what suits your situation. Not many parents have a choice, we were fortunate in that we did and gifted with hindsight and experience on balence it has worked out well for the whole family. Who has the right to say we were wrong?