In that case, your standard reply should be “no I’m actually an Alien from Alpha Centauri on a Secret Mission to Planet Earth, but if you talk about this to anybody else, your head will burst so keep it to yourself.” :)

I know you’re not defensive yourself; I was just talking generally about this kind of stuff.

“Hi. I’m ____.”
“I’m ____. Nice to meet you.”
“So where are you from?”
“I’m from back East in New England.”
“That’s cool.”
“What about you?”
“I’m from the Chicago area.”

This is the kind of conversation I hate:

“Hi. I’m ____”
“Where are you from?”
“Where..? I’m from back East in New England.”
“No, no. Where are you really from?”
“I’m really from back East in New England, Massachusetts, to be specific.”
“Where are you really from? Korea? Japan?”
“I’m really from America.”
“But you’re Chinese? Vietnamese?”
etc.

It is a cultural issue and has a specific dimension of “personal space” linked to it. Each culture’s conception of “personal space” differs from others. IN the west, I suspect you guys treat your “personal space” with a lot more respect than people do here in India.

This happens quite often to Asian-Americans and is usually one of the first questions asked by such a person. There’s usually a smugness of an “I thought so” flavor that appears right afterwards, even if the person is wrong (i.e., she thought you were of Chinese descent, but you were really of Japanese descent, for example), as long as she can now place you into the appropriate category.

If you really want to understand this phenomenon better, here’s further reading for you:
Where are you really from? Asian Americans and the perpetual foreigner syndrome by Frank Wu

However, I’ve had some of my best conversations with people who aren’t white like I am after I ask them “where are you from”? Incidentally, I lived in SE Asia for several years and I’ve been asked this question hundreds of times by locals,travelers, ex-pats, you name it. I had one old Filipino guy ask me this and when I said “American”, he said… ” I can never tell with you white guys, you all look alike”. Roflmao!!!!

One in particular that I initiated here in the states stands out in my mind. This guy was oriental or at least he wasn’t white, that was for sure and his name was odd and I wasn’t able to determine from it where he might have hailed from. Turned out he was Mongolian and from the same locale as Gheghis Khan. He spoke perfect American english but also was fluent in the local dialect… his grandfather had taught him to speak it and it was the inhouse lingo when he was a kid… he spent many of his younger years in England iirc and also spoke Russian. He told me the most fascinating story how he had taken a horseback trip of a couple thousand miles with some of his relatives who were traders, a euphemism probably for smugglers. It started in Mongolia and went through the Khyber Pass into Afghanistan. His brother a decade or two earlier had done the same thing and National Geographic had done a story on it only it was via 4-wheel drive and not by horseback.

It I was the type to worry that I might offend someone by asking “where are you from”, I would never had this conversation. The latino guy who ask you this question doesn’t have your PC values, I can assure you of that. I’m rather certain he has no idea he offended you. Even if you insist on torturing yourself with this attitude, a little appreciation and tolerance of cultural differences would certainly help with the resentments.

I mean, a person has got to accept both his parental roots as well as his current nationality. Denying either is a sign of weakness.

Be proud of your ethnicity as well as your nationality. There’s no law which says you’ve got to deny one to stand up for the other. Ethnicity is as valid as nationality and anybody who denies it is being politically correct but dishonest.

The question is actually not a question but a demand to confirm a projection veiled as a question. The asker is literally putting you in your place sie has chosen for you – which may be narrow or wide depending on the scale of ignorance. I don’t think ignorance should be responded with absorbing kindness, not only since swallowed anger damages your health, but also because by absorbing everything, you take away the chance of the ignorant person to grow out of hir ignorance.

Try answering calmly something like: “No, I’m from the United States. You know, in the United States we have a rich ethnic diversity.”

Now not only have you placed yourself outside the mental room of projection that was assigned to you, but you have reversed the situation and placed the asker into the exact same spot sie had reserved for you, given that you reserved the “we” for Americans, a we from which the asker suddenly finds hirself being excluded from! If the asker is another American, the offense of asking something silly like that is even worse, likewise will the same response carry more energy back.

What the hell kind of a question is that?